12. A Rationale, A Recur:

 “Why didn’t she come?” Arnav spoke to no one but himself, as he waited patiently for the car to reach the Gupta house. He looked to his side at the car travelling along side to his, and kept his eyes intact on the person looking out of the window, sitting in the back, almost adjacent to him. Khushi looked on at the gridlock formed with numerous ancient cars ahead of her, and one look at her distant expression, he knew what she had been thinking. She then shifted her gaze just in time to look at him, and it was one of those rare moments where she neither did roll her eyes, nor did give a swift head-turn, but just looked on, as if her mind was occupied by a rather serious disorientation than being cross with him.

He just shrugged, making his lips flat letting her know that it troubled him as much as it did to her and they looked away, effectively breaking the ghost of a civil conversation they have ever had.

“Mom??” Khushi called out once they reached the front of her home and Arnav just waited patiently alongside her, his one hand holding the big medal prize that they have won.

“Cathy..?” he called out too, walking inside the drawing space checking the place a little.

“Mom!” Khushi sighed the moment Catherine walked out of the kitchen wrapped in a thick shawl and ran into a small run to embrace her mother. She gathered herself close to Catherine, just as Arnav smiled walking towards them, even as Catherine held her daughter with one hand and reached out another to hold Arnav’s hand greeting him simultaneously.

“You didn’t come!” Khushi almost whined, holding onto Catherine’s shoulder tight, resting her head on the elder women’s shoulder, with no intention to letting go any sooner.

“I did honey, I was there”

“Really?”

Arnav and Khushi exclaimed in unison and Catherine smiled, walking along with Khushi towards the nearby couch. “Ofcourse I was there. I heard you both sing, seen the entire performance. But then prize distribution seemed too long away and I couldn’t stay. Besides, I have already seen the winning performance, dint I?” she spoke as Arnav settled down on the ground beside her legs, showing her the trophy, with khushi still holding onto her beside her on the couch. “I missed you” she heard her daughter say and patted her cheeks slightly.

“Earth to drama queen, it was just this morning that you were eating tons of those cheese cakes that she was feeding you”

“—Shut up Arnav!”

“This is one beautiful trophy!” Catherine spoke ignoring their little argument. She had by now adapted to their bantering, which comes quite innately to them.

“I know right?” Arnav echoed his excitement pumping back.

“And the way you two have worked up with the tune. It was just captivating. Isn’t it different from what you played to me the other day honey?” she asked Khushi and instantly felt loosening of Khushi’s grip at her hand.

“The rhythm right Cathy? I came up with it just this morning, you like it?” Arnav talked and Catherine instantly knew where the conversation was going.

“Wow! That’s amazing! Just this morning and you two have still managed to put up that kind of performance? Commendable job! I love what you all did with the tune”

“It’s him mom, He modified it all. I was just singing”

“But baby, you still were able to dwell into the rhythm quite perfectly, without much practice at all. That just didn’t seem like you all were performing without practice..”

“That’s because the tune is still the same Cathy, I just had to incorporate that rhythm, her job was easy” Arnav effectively dismissed giving any credit to Khushi and Catherine didn’t quite understand if he realized what he was doing.

“The tune is mine!! You just thought of a rhythm”

“Yeah, but your tune wouldn’t have been good at all, if it’s not for my rhythm”

“You were able to give that rhythm only because my tune inspired you! How will you possibly think of a rhythm without a tune to start with? And if you think you are so good with it, why didn’t you work with me earlier?”

“It doesn’t matter alright? I can work only when music comes to me, it works that way”

“Go on, keep giving excuses for your irresponsibility, laziness and lack of enthusiasm”

“How on earth can this masterpiece be termed as ‘lack of enthusiasm’?

“That’s because you only think of doing it in the last moment…..”

“This is the most insensible argument you two have ever had” Catherine spoke completely in command of the situation causing the both of them to abruptly end the argument and look at her in confusion. “The grand piano, western, Hindustani, Karnatic, guitar, violin, vocals, folk and what else did I miss anything?”

Arnav and khushi just remained silent waiting for her to continue. “10 years of music lessons and the same amount to practice with the legends that you have in your home, and you still don’t know the basics?”

“There is no tune without rhythm and no rhythm without tune. Both go hand in hand. If you are good with tune and you Arnav, are good with rhythm then, discover your strengths and work together” she spoke validating her point.

“Which means to be able to accept your flaws too…”

“I can do the tune myself” Arnav stated quite defensively.

“Well, I can do the rhythm too, it’s not rocket science” Khushi was in no mood to back off.

“In that case, go ahead. Discover yourself and make complete music yourself. It might take time. But find the stance, find the grounds and indulge yourself completely? Why take part in just group competitions, tell your teachers that you will take part alone. Sing alone, play some instrument alone. Find it within you. If you can speak for yourself strong enough, who is here to force you? You two are not kids anymore. You have grown up enough to talk for yourself. We might have forced you to learn together, but doing music together is something that should come naturally to you. Your fathers are and have been working together for years because they have always wanted to. They respect each other and the creative side of each other. If you can’t respect the creativity of your peer you can never work together, let alone do music!”

“I think it’s time you two give a thought about it. Why do you want to be stuck in situations with each other and complain about it? Do something instead of complaining. Say a no, be it to your father, your teacher, your principle, it doesn’t matter. If you can’t value the skill that you posses, there is no purpose in doing it. Get rid of each other and do what you can. Create, fall, fail but learn. Prove what you just stated, who is stopping you…?”

Catherine knew what she was doing wouldn’t be appreciated by her husband but it was needed. What the two fathers expected from their children wasn’t fair in any way. And over the years, it just became worse. If the legacy had to be taken down to next generations it should only happen with intention, not because they were supposed to. She looked between the two kids, who were right now totally indulged in contemplating her little speech, before getting up and leaving the room giving them their space. When she returned after a good few minutes, while she expected them to be indulged in another baseless argument, she found them glued to the same positions and in their own deep thoughts.

“Alright, that looked like one heated lecture. Shouldn’t we be celebrating today instead??” she said trying to get their attention and instantly saw them blink and give a glance at each other before shifting their complete attention to her. “Yes of course! What you cooking?” Arnav was the first to drift back into his playful self, like always. “Uh, I’m not tuned into cooking today” she made her lips straight.

“I’ll cook mom..”

“Let’s go out for dinner!”

They both said in unison and yet again glanced at each other. There was a cold war going on. And Catherine sensed it was going to last long. And she found it better to deal with than their arguments that often ended with her daughter’s nasty statements.

“Lets…uh, go for dinner yes.” Surprisingly, her daughter gave in first and she smiled at her approvingly.

“Arnav, your dad called in..”

“----did dad also talk mom?” Khushi interrupted her with sudden excitement.

“Yes honey, he will be calling again. Arnav your dad wants to catch up with you alone.

“I don’t have anything to talk to him…”

“---Arnav! No, he had been waiting for you. He will be calling to your home in about an hour. Go freshen up, talk to your dad and come back for dinner” she ordered.

“okay….”

“And bring Aman with you too, he must be alone, isn’t he?”

“I will Cathy, see you” he said giving Khushi one last glance before walking away from the front door.

Sidhant Raizada and Sameer Gupta, the two most happening music directors duo of the time. It was the time when the music directors were required to travel along with the crew for musical sittings. And they travelled often, quite often. Sidhant trusted Catherine with his son way too much and so he wasn’t worried. Sameer though a little guilty for staying away so long, he couldn’t do anything about it. The work was coming and it was coming to them in abundance. And they were even more passionate if not anything else. She wasn’t the ones to complain though. But in times like this, she just wished, he was around.  It might have been different if over the years Arnav and khushi have learned to live with each other. And the tiring part was, she had always made sure that their fathers were unaware of the wrath that existed between them. It wasn’t important, she had thought; at least, not important enough to get in way of their busy schedules. Initially she thought, it would change with time. But she had been wrong.

Catherine sighed walking to stand at the window of her bedroom awaiting the sun to break through the darkness and it was one of those rarest moments that she suddenly felt alone.

**