10. An Imprint, An Illusion:

The black cloth was taken off from her eyes long before the night have turned into the wee hours of the morning as it had been of no use, her blanket was pushed down leaving it to reside at her midriff, her hands folded across her chest and her back was resting to the long wooden board of her bed as Khushi kept her gaze intact at the ocean that peeped from her little window. The blue waves rushed, flipped hitting the shore, washing the mud along with it as the darkness embraced the exterior and the moon reflected itself  in the water illuminating the place as little as it could. 

Khushi closed her eyes only to be greeted by the weird, vague images of the dream that rushed to her sub conscious mind a few hours ago and which made no possible efforts to leave her senses, yet. This time the dream was as strange and weird as it could get. Two things were prominent in her dream. And they were prominent enough for her to put this particular dream in the same weird category that she have listed the previous ones. Because she saw him, yet again. While that being one prominent thing, the other was music, quite obviously.

She saw the waterfalls and her falling down the hill in his arms. But this reality image was also teamed with a vague image of a crowd. She saw a dark background, may be owing to the fact that she blinded herself with a black cloth, she wondered. She saw splash of grey everywhere, amidst of which was an uplifted platform that distantly seemed like a stage and she saw millions of hands being thrown up in the air. She heard loud music, completely unknown to her, completely going over her musical knowledge, if she still had any. Everything was so noisy unlike the other dreams of her, that she couldn’t even identify the variation of sounds, like she always did. May be because of the loud music that she had plugged into her ears, she concluded. And then she saw him, this time more clear and probably the only clear image of her entire dream.  He was standing with his guitar and his lips were reaching close to the electronic microphone stand. This time it wasn’t just his mystic brown eyes, but she saw him and his face crystal clear. He was singing to her, as usual, but she couldn’t hear anything. The loud music pumping into her ears dominated everything and anything that she could pickup from the vague dream. She couldn’t hear herself even, and now she even doubted if she had seen herself in that dream in the first place.

But somehow a few lines from whatever he had been singing, stuck in her mind before the music thumping in her ears became too loud causing her to jump back into reality. The first thing she did after regaining her senses was to switch off the music and sit with silence and only silence. And she had been sitting in the same way since then, her mind, uncharacteristically pondering over the few words she heard from the dream.

“Aaye mujh tak woh tumko jo ho dhoondhta
Meri khaamoshiyon mein hai tu bolta”

There was a vague tune going with these lines and as usual it wasn’t clear enough. The lines stuck in her mind and she had this sudden urge to record them. They seemed too meaningful to ignore, too creative and poetic to forget and too impactful to not dig in deep. Yet, she resisted as usual. She didn’t think of any innovative lines or tunes any longer. She knew as much, or so she told herself.

*

She heard the slight screeching sound of the door being opened yet again for the second time in the past few minutes causing her to open her eyes that were glued together quite reluctantly.

“Dad?” she called out her voice coming out quite hoarse and thick.  Bright morning rays penetrated through her window, hitting directly at her eyes making it difficult for her to keep her gaze open and she shifted whilst wincing just as a shooting pain rushed through the muscles of her neck.

“You up baby? It’s pretty late, you over slept” Sameer walked in with a tray in his hand.

Khushi straightened herself realizing her awkward position her back still leaning over the headboard while her head was falling to the side. Her one hand reached behind gently massaging her neck as she moved making place for her father to join her. “I did?” she asked lazily and Sameer smiled.

“Yes, your cab agency called the store number and I told them you were sick and needed a day off”

“Thanks…”

“You will have to get yourself new glasses after which you will be allowed to drive...”

“Point taken” she answered in monosyllables, rubbing her eyes and trying to adjust her gaze to the sudden illumination.

She then looked at the tray in his hand, as her father sat across her on the bed and she looked up, finally being able to open her eyes completely. “After what happened yesterday, do you seriously think I’d forget my medicines today?” she asked looking directly at him.

“You never know” he stated getting up and leaning over a little while dropping a small kiss to the side of her hair.

“I didn’t cry dad” she answered as a response to the concern in his eyes and he smiled down at her.

“I know you wouldn’t….” Sameer trailed off as his eyes caught the glint in her hair owing to the sunlight that almost reflected itself in contrast to her pale skin. He found himself taking the strands of her hair threading it between his fingers and looking at it intently causing Khushi to roll her eyes. “Dad relax, its temporary, two or three weeks and it will be off”

“This look kind of makes you…”

“Really?”

“And it kind of hides you too…”

Khushi yet again rolled her eyes and reached out to take the medicines and dropped them into her mouth before sipping on the water all the while being quite aware of his questioning gaze.

“Let go sometimes sweetie, you cannot just hold up everything inside and lock yourself, it’s alright if you cry you know?”

“Why do you want me to cry??”

“Because that’s what normal people do while remembering someone of a far away world…”

She looked at him baffled. She didn’t want to talk about it. She would never be ready to talk about it, never still being an understated word. Mourning was never her way of dealing with it. Taunting, blaming and other words in that terminology have always been her easy options.

“Looks like you had a great time catching up with your guest last night? It’s almost like you two haven’t parted at all! Were you this close to him back then?” Or changing the topic could also be her other way of avoiding talking about her grief, especially, when she is not looking to ruin another morning for her father, definitely not after ruining the night before.

“It’s a men thing. Besides, he was a kid back then Khushi, so I don’t really know if I was this close…”

“Hmm, you didn’t even remember, that from this room which is practically above the store, I really can hear your laughs and the great time you were having with him”

“I’m sorry….” He stated sincerely.

“Isn’t it difficult dealing with a possessive, jealous daughter?” she sighed.

“Not really, my daughter is not the typical witchy ones. Besides these are the emotions that will give me an insight of her love for me, otherwise, she pretty much sucks in being expressive”

“Dad!” she protested looking dubiously at him before a ghost of a smile glinted in her eyes and she looked away before it reached her lips.

“Let go sweetie. It’s okay if you smile completely, if you cry heartily, if you….if you express everything, gratitude, guiltiness… everything, just speak about it. It’s perfectly okay. Nothing of it will make you any small”

Khushi fell silent and looked down letting her finger tips play with one another and Sameer sighed. “Impressions change honey, and they change only with second chances, you should try and look at him in different way…”

“That’s the problem dad” she stated abruptly getting up from the bed. “Everyone just blamed me for everything that happened between us. Of course, that’s how it’s supposed to be isn’t it? The ones who seem bitchy are the only ones to be blamed and judged always”

“Khushi…”

“Dad, I can’t get along with him, it always has been the same and will remain same. It’s the same for him too. We never got along well and this whole ‘family friend’s tradition of befriending each other’ just goes over my head. And I can’t pretend dad, I’m sorry” she used her hands to make her point as clear as she can and turned around walking away into the washroom closing the door shut with audible purposeful noises.

Moments later, as silence occupied in the room, she knew her father was still waiting there, silently acknowledging everything she had said. She let out a deep breath looking at the closed door. Her father expected a lot as an apology this time from her and it concerned only towards him, that person!

“I’ll try!” she announced knowing very well that her dad have smiled at that and left the room satisfied with himself. Maybe she could just try and be civil to that person, if not friendly if it only meant to avoid her meaningless outbursts and constant foul mood, which seemed more than usual in just one day.

Impressions change honey, and they change only with second chances, you should try and look at him in different way…

Yeah Right.

**

“Whats this?” Khushi asked as she jumped down the linear stair case leading to hall way while picking up a gift wrapped box lying on the kitchen dining platform.

“That’s from me!” she heard a voice before her father could answer her question and she turned around to see Arnav walking inside from the back door, all too ravishingly, or so he thought he was with kind of aura that he carried around him. She gave him one fake smile and placed the box back on the platform, settling herself for breakfast.

“Open it honey, that’s for you” Sameer said not looking away from what he was doing. Khushi snapped a look at Arnav who was now sitting adjacent to her and he shrugged as if challenging her to open. She looked at him skeptically for another moment and nevertheless worked with the wrap to open the box.

“You asked for your glasses, phone and coat, didn’t you? This is for our new beginnings, what say uncle?”

“Very thoughtful”

Khushi heard the conversation and noticed the mock polite tone that he used. He was silently challenging her with the act they both were putting up for her father, and she was even more silently acknowledging it. Two can definitely play this.

The next moment she knew a loud shriek escaped her throat, quite involuntarily and she found herself literally glaring at the object she had retrieved from the box.

“What in the hell is this??”

“Khushi?? What’s wrong?” Sameer asked suddenly concerned as he walked towards her to take at look at what Khushi was referring to while Arnav just looked at the both of them in mock confusion.

“Whats wrong Maddy?” he asked blinking his eyes innocently.

“Its Khushi!” she gritted her teeth.

“Yes, sorry but what happened?”

Sameer grabbed the spectacles box from her hand whilst opening the lid to have a look and then he chuckled. Before he could say anything else, he heard the phone ring from the store and he excused himself to attend it.

“You didn’t like honey!” Arnav said the first thing as soon as Sameer left the room.

“I HATE PINK!!! And you knew it!”

“How am I supposed to know it? Besides girls like pink, don’t they?”

“I HATE PINK!!! And you did this on purpose! There is no other explanation for this!” her voice was picking up higher syllables. “I told you to get the same frameless ones!”

“Pink is lovely Khushi!”

“The phone too?” she exclaimed her eyes going wide completely perplexed at the bright red casing of the phone he had purchased.  “Bloody hell!! The driver coat!!??? How the hell did you manage to get this pink emblem??” she said referring to a pink structure residing at one part of her driver coat.

“Arnav Singh Raizada! You are outrageous! You knew I hate Pink!”

Arnav laughed out loud walking towards her and looked at her with his trade mark smug filling his face. “I was checking if your girl instincts have kicked in, after all these years, looks like they haven’t. But I’m sorry Maddy I think I threw away the bill, tch tch, you cannot even exchange and without glasses you aren’t allowed to drive….Haan! what happens now?” he asked getting his horrified voice and waited for her to react.

“I’m not one of those typical bimbos you play around with! A color called pink doesn’t certify anything. It annoys me and you did this on purpose”

“So?”

“I want you to accept this in front of my dad!”

“Is there an otherwise, at the end of that warning Maddy?” he said and giggled looking away from her causing her annoyance to increase every passing second.

“I love it how you wouldn’t give up throwing challenges at me” he said and turned around walking towards the exit. “I’ll be waiting in the car Chauffer-girl, uncle insisted that I go with you to the university” with that he turned at the door, his image vanishing away, and Khushi just stood there, rage filling in her veins, but yet helpless.

“Argh!”

**

The loose cargo pants, the muddy yellow T-shirt, that fell off one of her shoulder moulds, the thin line of waist fold peeping out as she sat tugged inside the seat belt, the metal accessories adorning her wrist, with her red locks falling over her shoulder, totally unorganized and uncombed, Khushi more or less looked distinct to him. And different. Different from some kind of image he always had of her. Not that he had ever seen the woman Khushi anyway, yet she looked, Distinct. And he was totally checking her out.

“Watch out!!” he heard her say and the next moment he knew, she reached out to the wheel and turned it abruptly, sharply avoiding a bump into another vehicle ahead of them.

“Were you checking me out?” she asked once they were back into a much safer driving zone.

“In your dreams!”

He could see her glaring at him from the corner of his eye and his tongue rolled in his cheek. She kind of looked at him for good few seconds, pondering over something before looking away. Just as he noticed that, his gaze caught a small bent in the road to avoid which he turned the wheel yet again rashly causing them to oscillate inside the car.

“Good heavens! Will you please drive carefully?” she exclaimed quite hysterically.

“Why? Are you scared?”

“Yes of course! Scared for my car, for my life! I’m sorry no offence but your driving sucks!”

There were so many decent words in the last two sentences that she uttered, it was almost impossible for him to come back with a jab. And so he remained silent. Please. Good heavens. Sorry. No Offence.

“In that case you should sit with your closed eyes, just like me” he spoke nonchalantly.

“What???” her voice was positively baffled.

“It’s a joke; you have a pathetic sense of humor I tell you…”

“Whatever!”

She was being well behaved after the little battle they have had. Uncharacteristically well behaved. She didn’t fuss finding out that she have to lead him to the Edinburgh city and help him locate an address. She didn’t protest when her father insisted that she should let him drive the car. She smiled, rather tried to a couple of times. All in all she was being, civil with him.

“Take a left here, please…”

The mock pleasing tone with which she had started talk to him caused him to flip his gaze instantly to her, even as his hands effortlessly turned the wheel and she smiled, in that mock way yet again. May be it was intended to irk him, he didn’t know. But he was far from being irked. The one corner of his mouth lifted up into a smug before he looked away completely dismissing her cordial glance.

“Pull over right there..” she pointed out to a large gate and he looked up to see the name Napier University engraved in big letters over the boarding.

“Walk straight, you will find directions to reach the auditions auditorium”  she spoke cordially and waited for him to get down the car. And just as he did, she hopped over to the driving seat and looked at him keeping her smile intact.

“I’ll be waiting here sir, please wrap your work as soon as possible because the waiting charges have recently increased” she stated blinking her eyes innocently.

“Oh, you charge for waiting to pick me up? Awesome!” he winked and turned around completely satisfied with the O-shape that formed in her face. Just as he walked two steps towards the gate, he stopped and turned around to find her still throwing daggers at him.

“Why don’t you come in? Give an audition may be? Did you ever participate in the Fringe?” he asked with no traces of humor or sarcasm.

“Uh, I’m good here, it’s noisy inside” she spoke from inside the car not meeting his eyes. He then looked around the huge central part of the Edinburgh city and sneered. “It’s quite here, I see”

“Listen, I can’t come inside, will you please go, finish your work and come back soon, I don’t have all day to be here waiting for you”

“What do you mean you can’t come inside? Oh the parking? Common, I’ll pay for it”

“Oh shut up! I don’t want to come inside, just go…”

“Looks like a lot of music is in there, what are you going to do alone here?”

“Exactly why I don’t want to come…”

“Huh?”

“I can’t stand music, I hate it…. do you need more answers?”

“I’m sorry what?” he asked completely baffled. Khushi then sighed exasperated with the sudden argument and she jumped out of the car to stand facing him.

“Do you have some kind of hearing problem? I hate music! And I don’t want to be anywhere around it”

Arnav suddenly remembered what the stranger K had talked to him about the same and how they fell into a comfortable conversation. “That day when you said, you actually meant it…” he said almost in a daze.

“I don’t make statements that I don’t mean”

“Since when?”

“Listen you, I have no reason to answer your nonsense questions. I answered this particular one just so you will be aware of it and wouldn’t bring it up another time. Now keep this in your mind and just buzz off. I hate music, did you hear that? I disguise the mere sound of it!”

And he stood there processing all that she said or rather trying to process, completely perplexed with the piece of information even as his eyes continued to look into that of her hazels with conviction.

**